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Epic Update

Updated: Oct 31, 2021

The last couple of months have been busy! My diet has been a disaster but I am wiping the slate clean and starting over November 1st. My intention is to follow my plan perfectly for all of November and December. I'd like to ring in 2022 as close to my ideal body weight as possible. ๐Ÿคฉ


I had a gig anxiety nightmare. My gig was in South Florida so I took my family down there but I noticed my lipstick was faded, so I had to go back to our hotel room to reapply, but when I got there I realized it was an hour away and there was no way I could get back in time. Ugh! Not a good feeling, I like to be punctual. I wonder if it's about the challenge of balancing work, family, and side hustle?


Here's a synopsis of all the gigs I've had since my last update!

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I performed for a family of fiery redheads way across town. The man didn't answer the door for a few minutes so I was wondering if it was going to be a no-show, but then he did! He was delayed by a work call so I'm glad I waited. He watched me from his doorstep and I noticed he was very careful to only look at me in my eyes, possibly because his two young children were at his feet and his wife watched from down the hall with a baby in her arms. Good thing my show is family friendly! His son took a photo of us but it was so fast and careless, it would be a miracle if it wasn't blurry. I actually had to reschedule my root touch up appointment because the gig fell on the same day so my roots are pretty grown out here:

I had lunch with my Dad after the gig and had changed out of my Marilyn outfit, and when I got home, my husband was waiting outside for my son to get home from school, and the bus driver almost didn't stop the bus when she saw me! Her jaw dropped to the floor and she was shocked by my resemblance to Marilyn. A couple of days later, my husband handed me a note from her with a phone number. I texted and it was for another entertainment group in the valley! He says he'll pass my number along to other groups who may be wanting to book a Marilyn. So exciting!


My next gig was for the president of a real estate company. I walked into the conference room where the company was gathered and it was lavishly decked out. There were red and white balloons covering nearly every inch of the ceiling, and his son was watching from Tahiti on an iPhone! Ah, nice and blonde again:

The president liked to talk and told the group that the only difference between him and me and Marilyn and President Kennedy is that there's definitely nothing going on between us. And I chimed in, "and I was on time!" poking fun at Marilyn's legendary lateness. She was even introduced as "the late Marilyn Monroe" when she finally appeared on stage to sing for President Kennedy. It was a joke then too.


My next two gigs occurred on the same day, about an hour and a half in between. The first one was at a party in a house, and they had me hide in the pantry while they gathered the group together in the living room. I waltzed out and it took him a few seconds to notice me. He must have not heard Marilyn's songs before, because he laughed at all the funny bits. Originally the lady who booked me wasn't going to be there, so it was extra funny when I read the card saying she was sorry she couldn't make it. She said I was fabulous and tipped me an extra $20! So very kind of her and much appreciated.

I had some time between performances so I stopped at at a well-lit gas station for a while before heading toward the second location, which was quite rural and late at night. It was pretty spooky driving there by myself. This was a fabulous mansion in horse country and there were a ton of people there. It ended up being the son's birthday on the same day, and he had quite a few of his twenty-something friends there too. The coordinator asked me to stay out of sight near the driveway, but a small group of young adults walked around the house toward the garage, and I heard one of them gasp when she saw me. Someone told me later I creeped out his friends and they thought they had seen a ghost! I must have looked eerie and spectral, standing silently off in the distance in my flowing white dress.


They handed me the live mic while I was still outside which I thought was weird, and I didn't know what to say while I was walking from the (long) driveway into the house. Finally I was performing for the man of honor, and he didn't look at me once, even though I mentioned that I wanted him to. I realized after I was finished when he tried to stand up that it was probably because he was heavily inebriated. His son sat right next to him, and I sang happy birthday to both of them since it was his actual birthday. I took photos with party guests afterward and it was so encouraging how many people told me that I was fabulous. The DJ even came by for a photo, and since I had his contact information, I asked him if he wouldn't mind if I posted it on my blog. He asked for my website and said he'd share it. Here's our photo! It's blurry but I still like it.

My next gig was across town for a sweet old curmudgeon turning 90. He said some real gems while I was there, including:


"Why are you lying?" (when I said I didn't know he'd be so attractive)

"I thought my family hated me." (when I read the card signed "from his loving family")

"Why only two hugs and kisses?" (when I gave him the printed selfie marked "xoxo")


I was feeling pretty confident from my last few flawless performances that I wasn't expecting to bomb the second verse , but I still got tipped $10 by the brother-in-law after being told specifically that the lady who booked it wouldn't tip because of the $50 mileage charge since the location was nearly an hour away from my home. She even left me the kindest review!

The next gig was for a super fancy party at the historical resort, the Hotel Valley Ho. I was seriously considering canceling this event because my confidence was shot from runaway weight gain, and I injured my lip from biting it worse than I'd thought a few days prior and it was swollen and painful. Luckily lipstick covered it well and you could only tell if you look very, very closely. I'm so glad I faced my fears and went anyway because I was the star of the show! The event would have been so much more blah without me. It was an awards ceremony for a big bank, held on the rooftop. People there were D-R-U-N-K. The coordinators wanted me to be a surprise, so they took my jukebox (๐Ÿ˜ฅ) and said the DJ would play my songs next to the microphone so everyone could hear. I had a wireless mic, and when I said I was ready, there were some technical difficulties. The song started playing midway through so I asked sweetly if they could start it over for me. The volume was all over the place during my performance, but I made the best of it. I had to be reminded to sing happy birthday, lol, and I said it was because he was so handsome I forgot! The birthday boy had to loosen his collar while I sang for him. ๐Ÿ˜…


I posed for photos with guests afterward and clearly the photographer had gotten paid already because he gave each group exactly one second before he snapped the photo. I've never taken so many pictures in such quick succession! As I walked out, a partygoer toward the back asked if we could get a selfie, but it was blurry and another guest offered to take it, so I said he should, but it turns out he was so drunk that I'm sure the second photo is blurrier than the first! I got to the elevator and had a moment of abject terror when I realized my jukebox's cord had been trailing behind me (they didn't pack it up into the suitcase!) and the plug got wedged in the gap between the floor and the elevator. Gah! I yanked it out just in time, but sheesh!


I love performing in public places because I get even more great feedback from strangers. There was a girl checking in who was shocked by my resemblance to Marilyn and I gave her a business card. I think I must seem more like Marilyn in person because from the photos... sometimes I just don't see it. One great thing about this gig was that I had a couple of minutes to snap some quick selfies before I went up to the rooftop to perform. It's fun to have variety in my photos! I'd like to go back here with a photographer and take some cool shots.

The latest gig was for the nonprofit car show I've mentioned previously. The event was in the full sun and goodness gracious, it's hard to take a good picture with the sun beating into my skin and eyes! Every time I tried to smile and look in the camera, my eyes watered and I also noticed that my gum line is showing too much in all the photos. Something to work on! They still loved me and I got asked by multiple people involved in the car group about coming back for their next show in February. I hope it's on a cloudy day! This picture makes me look like I'm standing on one leg. ๐Ÿ˜

I was also confused about who actually hired me. I thought it was for the event as a whole, so I spent a good amount of time visiting with people perusing the cars, but it was actually for a specific booth at the event. I was handing out brochures for the booth, but I could tell people weren't really interested. I spent the second half of my time there chilling in the shaded booth and chatting with the dude promoting his insurance company. He told me the only reason he was there was because the lady who had booked it said she hired a Marilyn impersonator, and he's had a lifelong crush on Marilyn. He even had her posters up in his room as a boy. He said I was the closest impersonator to Marilyn that he's ever seen!


I... underestimated how much time I would be in the sun. Lesson learned, never skip sunscreen. Luckily my face lotion has SPF in it, but I still think my face is a little darker than it was before. I'm going to get a pretty white umbrella for the next outdoor daytime gig, because my Vampiric lifestyle typically leaves me feeling "blonde all over," (as Marilyn was fond of saying) and I do intentionally avoid the sun to stay as pale as possible. But now... look at me! Like a lobster!!

Since I've had so many gigs recently, I made enough money to sign up for a class all about how to develop and market your own solo show. I'm gifting it to myself for my birthday this year, and the first day even falls on my birthday! I'm excited and slightly terrified because now I need to find the time to devote to my project. Whatever happens, I'd like to learn the skills and be able to come up with a framework that I can build on myself later on. It's a big step in my Marilyn career and I am excited to see what happens! ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜

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