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But She Sings Good Too

I've had three singing telegrams since the last time I posted. The first was at a dentist's office. The brother of the dentist set it up, and he came out to meet me before I went in (reminding me yet again that I want to upgrade my mom van into something way cuter for my Marilyn gigs). It was during their lunch hour, so the entire staff circled around and the recipient was very surprised when he saw me. I had a real ditzy blonde moment when I couldn't make my battery pack work (turns out I hadn't switched it on) but luckily since the gig was inside, I could hook my jukebox up to the electrical outlet on the counter.


The dentist asked if I was a professional singer while I was setting up, and I stayed in character and said, "Gee, I wouldn't say professional... I'd say I'm more known for my image." He looked me up and down and said, "Your image is... wow." He was stunned. So flattering! I remembered all my lines and I sang all the right notes, so I felt super great about this gig. I also felt more natural and spontaneous as Marilyn with my banter and engagement with the audience.


The next singing telegram was across town for a sweet guy turning 50-ish (the person who set it up wasn't sure). It's summer in Arizona so the drive over is hot and I was performing outside his door, so when they started filming me and I was singing my songs, all I could think about was the beads of sweat on my lip. Should I wipe it off super obviously on camera or hope that it's not visible?! I went with the second option. I can only hope you can't really see it in the cell phone footage. Either way, this guy really liked my performance! I just love making people feel special. When I was finished, he said, "Not only is she gorgeous, but she sings good too!" I love that comment so much. It seemed so heartfelt and sweet. :)


So after these two gigs I was feeling on top of my game and all professional and stuff, and then for my third gig everything fell apart when I completely spaced the second verse of Diamonds. Arrgh! I've song that song a thousand times and I still mess it up! Good thing I always set it up by saying, "Gee, he's so handsome. I hope I remember my lines!" That way if anything does go horribly wrong, I can play it off like I'm just so flustered by how good looking he is. This was a birthday singing telegram at a resort from a woman who had hired me two years earlier for someone else. I got there and the valet guys were so sweet and said, "Marilyn's here!" I explained what I was there to do, and they let me drive behind a golf cart right to where the room was.


When she let me in, her boyfriend was still in the shower! She told him she had his surprise ready but he had to put on some clothes. When he came out and saw me, his jaw dropped. It's so awkward performing for only two people which is probably why my mind went completely blank in the second verse. So embarrassing! I finally caught the thread of words and finished the song, and they both seemed to have enjoyed it. I told him I hoped he'd always remember this birthday, and he said he didn't think he had a choice. Hopefully that's because of how stunning and memorable I am and not because of how badly I botched the song. Anyway, as I was leaving, I said, "So nice to see you again" to the woman and then had a sinking feeling that maybe I shouldn't have done that. Maybe she wouldn't want her new boyfriend to know that she had hired me before for another man! When I got back to my van, I texted her offering to come back for a photo since I had forgotten, but she didn't reply. My imagination ran wild and I was afraid they were in an argument over my faux pas but apparently everything was fine because about ten minutes later she texted me saying I was awesome. Whew! Maybe they were, um, otherwise occupied.


I only took one photo photo for the three gigs, and it's me while I'm still getting ready before I even have my dress on. Super professional. XD

When I get much more famous, I'm going to hire a professional bodyguard/photographer and then I'll have much more interesting pictures to document my gigs, and feel more secure going to remote areas with people I don't know.


Remember how I want to buy the Happy Birthday dress once I attain my physical goals? Well, I found the most incredibly accurate replication I've ever seen and it's quite literally priceless. I inquired with the creator about how much it would be for me to get one of my own, and he said that part of the contract with the purchaser was that he would never make another one. I'm sure it was astronomically expensive though because he said he could make other gowns for me, and I asked about the white one from The Seven Year Itch (my version cost $400 and I thought that was a lot) and he said he could do it for $5,000. So... when I win the lottery or become super rich and famous, I know where I'm going to get my gowns made. And maybe the collector who purchased the Happy Birthday dress will request me to model it someday. :)


The other notable thing that happened for me recently was I got some closure on a friendship gone awry. Someone who helped me learn about her experiences as an MM impersonator made it clear through lack of engagement that she didn't consider me a friend. After six months of no responses to my messages, I finally got the hint that it was over and I sent her a farewell message. And I felt much better afterward! I think that my ambitious goals were misinterpreted to be cutthroat and conniving and after I broke our rapport I couldn't get it back again. I do wish we could still be friends but it's not happening so I've made my peace with that and I'm moving on. And now I've met another fledgling MM who is in much the same position as I was two years ago! She's in her thirties and gathering momentum to begin impersonating Marilyn. I was able to share the songs I've collected with her and I'm going to give her a hair and makeup tutorial before one of my gigs this weekend. It's so rewarding to be able to help someone else out when she's just beginning. I hope we remain friends for life. I understand that not everyone is going to love me, but I sure hope most do. ♥



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